Alright, since I started posting stuff again, I figured I might as well write an all new journal entry giving a full-fledged explanation as to why I had disappeared all the sudden and why wasn't I able to post anything new to my dA gallery.
I'll try to keep the explanation as short as possible: for one, I don't want to bore you all with too many details. Secondly, if I were to write down all that has happened to me throughout the year or two in one go, I'm afraid I'd have to spend a couple good hours in front of my comp, and since it's nearing 9:00 PM where I live, and tommorrow I have a class early in the morning I'm afraid I can't really stay too long. Third of all, some of the things that happened to me are quite personal, and I don't really want to talk about them here, knowing dA's a public site. I'm sorry guys, but I just don't want those things to spread.
Alright... so here's the deal.
Last two years had been a living NIGHTMARE for me when it comes to education. As some of you may probably remember, I decided to study both Russian and English. Technically speaking, I was studying two majors at the time. So I had double the amount of subjects that an average university student (at least the ones that study languages) has. Which meant I had to spend many hours (and sometimes even an entire day - like 12 hours or so) sitting at the university. That and the amount of work to do - all the essays, reports, and the like...
Now some of you may think: "Hey, this isn't all too bad. That's part of what every student has to do, isn't it?" Yes, yes it is. The problem is that the work we had to do was DOUBLE the amount of what a regular student does. Plus we had to prepare for the upcoming exams, and there were like 10 or 12 of them. And we also had a B.A. thesis to write.
So basically, nearly all of my life revolved completely around the university. Occassionally I've been making a trip to see some of my friends in Warsaw, but those were like two in the span of two years.
All in all, those last two years had been really difficult for me. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. Had I known it was going to be so hard and time consuming I wouldn't have decided to choose this major. The only good thing I have to say about it is that I have learned so much throughout all those years, not only the Russian language, but also many different things regarding both English and Russian cultures, literature, traditions and the like. And I'm thankful for it. So, maybe not all was that bad...
But because of all the schoolwork, I decided to give up on dA: I just couldn't cope doing everything at the same time.
That, and also, I somewhat lost my drive to draw any more fan art. The main reason behind this was the aforementioned school work. I just lost my inspiration and suffered a major art block. Another reason were... the art classes which I started attending. The more still life drawings I drew, the more life model drawings I made and the more sketches I did in my sketchbook, the more I realized how bad actually some of my fan art drawings were in comparison to the stuff I made. This experience sort of discouraged me from drawing fan art any more. I felt that if I ever wanted to improve I should give up on drawing fan art (at least for some time), because I felt it wouldn't bring me any benefits. It may sound a little silly but that's actually how I felt.
And even when I've started doing fan art again, I'm still trying to act carefully about it. I hadn't touched Photoshop in months (my last attempt was during this year's vacation) - and I'm still reluctant to use it, so as not to start stagnating and repeating the same mistakes I did in the past. I may try using it again, though, once I get more confidence and practice some more with it, instead of making shortcuts.
I still have plans to go to art academy - I actually planned doing that last year, but because everything got so complicated and convoluted, I had to put it on another year.
Also, throughout all that time I also suffered a few personal problems... But like I said, I don't really want to talk about them here.
So as you can see this wasn't a really good time for me in artistic terms.
But, everything's slowly becoming better and better. Last month I passed my B.A. exam and earned a degree in Russian major. Also, I got accepted into the M.A. studies in English. It's been three weeks since I started my classes and everything looks promising so far. My schedule's a LOT more better than the ones I had in the past two years - a lot less subjects, classes at convenient hours and so on. Not only do I have time for doing artwork again, but I also have more time to myself, and my friends.
It's amazing... it almost feels like I had been born again. Some of you may think this is an exaggeration, but trust me: had you gone through so much shit, you too would've been relieved as much as I am.
So now that I have this new found "freedom" I'll try using it as best as I can. I'll try to be more active than I did. I won't be uploading as much stuff as I did in the past, but I won't be letting my site get covered with cobwebs either.